Moronic Mondays: Parsing…in Timewalking?

Welcome to Moronic Mondays – featuring stories of less than desirable players.

There are times I wish I was making something up, and other times I wish I took a screenshot.

I entered Grim Batol for timewalking on my mage – a dps had left early and immediately a hunter started berating the now-gone player. Whatever, maybe he rage quit. We clear to the second boss no problem.

Then the hunter goes nuclear.

He demands we kick this rogue for only auto attacking. We notice he is doing about 40% of our dps, but after a quick check he appears to be lower level and is his first toon. We vote down the kick, and so begins the decline of of our hunter (and his grammar).

As we guide the new player (who really doesn’t need much help), we get this legendary quote:

hes parses are bottom tier

Theon – Kel’Thuzard 2019.01.07

This halts the group.

“Theon – confirm you meant ‘parse’ and not ‘dps”

lower than should be for rouge, garbage!

Now, I always appreciate someones language eventually turning into a Donald Trump tweet, but our noble content-pusher Theon is losing his grasp on the game he so desperately wants to beat as fast as possible. You can see this from the image above as his DPS is slipping VERY close to the rogue’s.

This was getting frustrating; we ignored him and got on with the run and gave our loot to the rogue at the end.

Of course that didn’t fucking happen (minus the lootsharing). This was the time of our lives. We would pull a pack, stop, link more stats that showed his sub-par play compared to the rogue, and then the bomb dropped:



Part 2 coming once we get the time to fully look into his parses (hint, they are bottom of the barrel).

Leave a Reply